Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago.
Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.
Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replied, "Mum! I have someone for you to meet.."
Well, it was an immediate hit.
They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend away..
Their first night there, she undressed as he did.
There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit.
Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"
She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."
He knew he was not getting lucky that night.
The following night was the same- she stood there wearing the black panties, and he was in his birthday suit-but now he was wearing a black condom.
She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"
He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences.."
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Chinese Detective LOL
A guy suspected that his wife was cheating on him, so he hired a Chinese detective... The cheapest one he could find.
This is his report:
Most honorable sir,
You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go hotel. I climb tree. I look window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I no see.
No fee,
Cheng Lee
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Crazy but not stupid
A truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH (Institute of mental health).
He discovered a flat tire when he was about to go home. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tire down.
When he was about to fix the spare tire, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain.. As he can't fish the bolts out, he started to panic.
One patient happened to walk past and asked the driver what happened. The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do; he told the patient the whole incident.
The patient laughed at him & said "can't even fix such a simple problem.... no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..."
Here's what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tires and fix it onto this tire. Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones, easy as that" The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why are you here at the IMH?"
Patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy not STUPID!"
Monday, September 28, 2009
What's the moral of the story?
A Priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The Priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthy slid his hand up her leg. The Nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The Priest removed his hand. But, changing gears he let his hand slide up her leg again. The Nun once again said. "Father, remember Psalm 129?". The priest apologized"Sorry Sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent the Nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church the Priest rushed up to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
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